When the Negative is Positive
Have you ever considered the smaller, positive defining moments in your life? We often focus on the big milestones like marriage, the birth of a child, or graduation. But it's those smaller moments that can be incredibly powerful. This idea is beautifully captured in one of my favorite books, The Power of Moments (https://a.co/d/4LpbEZN).
Reflecting on my own smaller, powerful moments, one from 2020 stands out. During the height of COVID-19, my husband Fred had been without work since the fall of 2019. With me owning a gym that had to close, we were facing serious financial difficulties. On April 5th, our wedding anniversary, I woke up to find a folded piece of paper on the table. Fred looked at me and said, "Happy anniversary. I couldn't buy you anything because things are tight, but I made you a card." That moment is etched in my memory—the words on the card, the look on his face, and how deeply touched I was. It cost nothing but his time and thoughtfulness meant everything to me.
But then I remembered another defining moment from my childhood, which began as a very challenging one. At 15, I found out I was pregnant. I felt like a disgrace and thought I had let my parents down. I was judged harshly in our small town where young pregnant girls had been sent away, hidden from view. But there I was, 15, pregnant, still in high school, with no job. It was incredibly hard, but it taught me to fight for the first time in my life.
When my precious little girl was born, I realized I had to fight like never before because she depended on me. She is the reason I am resilient today. Becoming a mother as a teenager made me determined never to give up. "Hard" is not in my vocabulary—I challenge hard.
It wasn't just hard at 16; it remained tough for many years. But another positive defining moment came from this experience: I married my baby's father, Fred, and we've been together ever since. This year, we celebrated 27 years of marriage, having been together since 1989. I often wonder if we would have stayed together if we hadn't gotten pregnant. Perhaps not.
I believe that getting pregnant changed the trajectory of our lives and united us in love. We are strong together and we continue to work through hard things in our lives.
This story is a reminder that we can turn any challenging moment into a positive defining one. It’s about the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. We need to view our lives and choices through lenses of strength instead of blame, shame, or negativity. How can you start looking at your life through the lens of strength today?
I hope the writings and pictures in this blog inspire you to look at your life through a lens of strength. I was a scared 15-year-old girl who felt like a total failure. Somehow I believed in myself that I could be this little girl's mom and this awesome guy's partner, and we did it. One day at a time, one struggle at a time, one victory at a time. And we are still doing it!! Fight for you!!!
Our family is now 13 crazy human's strong, a testament to resilience, love, and unwavering determination. No matter how difficult the journey, remember that you have the strength to overcome and thrive.