The Explants
Within 24 hours of reading about Breast Implant Illness, I decided I wanted my implants out- and fast.
Then came the next complication: Finding a surgeon that would take them out, and properly.
Some surgeons had a year long wait. Plus, the cost to get them removed was double the cost I paid to get them in!!
I went to five different plastic surgeons in a panic to find one. One told me I was crazy and that I’d look terrible with my implants removed. He actually said I would hate how I looked (feeding into my fears an insecurities…) It was a very stressful process.
“Finally I found a doctor. He had removed 300+ implants at the time and he agreed with me that it was likely affecting my health. He said it would take my body at least three years to recover. And he said out of every explant he had done, everyone had improved in their health except for 3 people. ”
Finally I found a doctor. He had removed 300+ implants at the time and he agreed with me that it was likely affecting my health. He said it would take my body at least three years to recover. And he said out of every explant he had done, everyone had improved in their health except for 3 people.
Waiting for my surgery was a time of anxiousness and uncertainty. Your body builds a capsule around the implants once they are inside (because they are a foreign object your body doesn’t recognize) and that capsule attaches to your chest wall. The goal is to remove the capsule and the implant in one piece. It’s a high-risk surgery, and there is a risk for a collapsed lung. It kept me up at night and I would just pray that the implants and capsule would come out in one piece and I would be okay.
The Explant Surgery
On November 26, 2019, I headed into surgery. It took bravery and faith, but deep down I was incredibly scared. Scared of not making it through the surgery, scared of complications, scared of the pain after.
I was also so nervous about how “ugly” I would look afterwards. Yes, I was worried about having deflated balloons again. Seems so vain looking back, but it’s true.
My surgery lasted four hours and when I woke up, I was wrapped in bandages with drains sutured to each breast. While the implants were now out, my recovery was just beginning. The day I took the bandages off I thought I was going to throw up. The good news is I didn’t.
Physically the recovery was really tough. Because they had to reconstruct my breasts, I got a lot of nerve pain, which was the worst part of recovery.
But as my body healed, I started to heal emotionally as well. I started to become a new version of myself. Instead of feeling ugly and ashamed with my flat chest, inside I felt stronger, beautiful, brave, confident and a total bad ass!
I had the biggest learning moment and realized that the implants really did nothing for my self esteem in the long run. What boosted me was the personal development I had done plus the hard shit of getting MS and then BII and accepting I had made the vain decision to change a part of my body thinking it would bring me happiness and self love.
After I had the implants removed
Lessons Learned
I believe I went through all of this in order to understand what so many women and some men go through in their struggle to find happiness or confidence. For so many of us, instead of working on the INSIDE we focus on and work on the OUTSIDE.
Let’s be real: the inside work is WAAAAY harder.
Just know that you are worth doing whatever you can do to work through all the inner crap that has happened to us all.
We as humans carry so much bullshit with us for years, and we don’t need to. Lay it down. Work through it. Inner healing IS possible- no matter how long it takes.
You. Are. Amazing. And you already have everything you need inside of yourself to reach your full potential.
I pray and hope you have been inspired by me sharing a part of my story. I am so thankful for all the coaching I’ve received as a part of being a Fit Body Bootcamp owner. It’s really helped me deal with my shit and become better every day. I am also thankful to every person I have worked with because every person has played a key part in who I am today and allowed me to become my True Self- the person God destined me to be.